


vanity

by iimpavid



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Future Fic, Growing Old Together, M/M, Old Age, Old Marrieds, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 21:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17352605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iimpavid/pseuds/iimpavid
Summary: A morning at home, sometime in the not-so-distant future.





	vanity

**Author's Note:**

> There are probably typos but I’m doing this on my phone so I don’t know what more y’all expect.

Peter shuffled into the kitchen fresh from a shower, brocade housecoat open over silk pajamas and looking for all the world like a man betrayed. Juno paused between putting biscuits in the oven and frying sausage to ask, “What’s got you all bent outta shape? It’s too early for that shit.”    
  
He poured his coffee, frowning thunderously, and added enough cream into it to turn it blonde. Juno was about to give it up as a lost cause— Peter wasn’t one for unpredictable moods but he could avoid talking about his feelings with the best of them— when Peter sat at the island and admitted,  “I found a grey hair.”   
  
A laugh burst out of Juno. “That’s all? You look like somebody set your favorite shoes on fire.”    
  
“This is no laughing matter, Juno!”    
  
“You’re forty-four— it happens to everyone eventually.”   
  
“Says the man without a wrinkle on him in spite of years spent frowning at  _ everything _ ! Spare me your pragmatism and let me mourn my lost youth in peace— at least until I’ve drunk my coffee.”   
  
“Yeah, alright, sure.” He crossed to the island, wiping his hands clean on his apron. “C’mere, lemme see how bad it is. Where is it?” He ran his fingers up into Peter’s hair, massaging his scalp in slow circles that he knew from experience felt awesome. Peter’s hair was still damp from the shower, fine strands clinging to his fingers like black silk.   
  
“An inch or so back from my temple,” Peter said, still managing to sound dejected. “No doubt the first of a legion meant solely to remind me of the fragility of this mortal coil and my own impending demise.”    
  
It took Juno almost a full minute of carding through Peter’s hair to find it, a single bone-white strand. “It’s just the one. I could pull it out of you want.”    
  
“Juno Steel, don’t you dare!” He gasped, stricken. “That could be the last straw that makes me go bald!”    
  
“Okay, oh my god, that’s not—” despite his best efforts, a giggle escaped, “I’m sorry. Peter, listen to me, listen, okay: you’re not going to go bald. You’d’ve started like ten years ago if you were gonna; you probably don’t have the genes for it.”    
  
“Small mercies.”    
  


“It isn’t that bad.”

 

“Not now, but it will be.”

  
“Who knows? You might end up with, yknow, that silver fox look. It’ll be sexy.”    
  
“Don’t pander to my ego, Juno.”    
  
“When have I ever, in my entire life, even once pandered to anyone about anything—“ And when Peter opened his mouth to start the list, he quickly amended, “that wasn’t for the sake of a case or a life-or-death situation?”    
  


That got him to pause, brow furrowing as he couldn’t come up with a single example. Juno ran his fingers through Peter’s hair again. It was easy to spot the one mismatched strand now that he knew where it was— not that he would ever say it out loud. He liked looking at it. “It’s not even grey, Peter, it’s white.”    
  
“ _ Delightful _ .”    
  
“White hair’s fashionable as hell right now, are you kidding? Ever since Cassandra’s niece turned up on that billboard in that one wig with the feathers? You could just bleach all of it, get it over with, everybody’d think it was on purpose.”    
  
“Oh, no, absolutely not. It’ll all turn orange.”    
  
“You sound like you speak from experience.”    
  
“My teenaged self made a variety of incredibly stupid aesthetic decisions.” He wrinkled his nose at the memory. “Fortunately, no pictures of that nightmare survived— one of the few boons to being born in the underbelly of Brahma. As far as anyone knows, I sprang fully formed from the void of space as the magnificent creature you see before you today.”    
  
“Oh yeah? Remind me to show you my high school yearbook sometime.”    
  
“Please, do. We could make a day of it.”    
  
“You sure you don’t have any embarrassing high school photos? We could have Rita try and dig ‘em up.”    
  
“Most-assuredly. I never went to high school— being a revolutionary is a full-time occupation.”    
  
“Lucky bastard.” He pressed a kiss into Peter’s temple.    
  
“Will you still love me when I’m old and grey, Juno?”   
  
“Of course. You’ve gotta face that could launch a war and you can make wearing pajamas in the grocery store look like high fashion— not that I married you for your looks. The razor wit and quick fingers are what got me.”   
  
Peter finally smiled over the rim of his coffee cup— he’d never gone to the grocery store in his pajamas but the point was clear and he loved to be flattered. He took it upon himself to mention the faint black smell emanating from the stove, “I think breakfast is about to become a lost cause, darling.”   
  
Juno sniffed— that was definitely the sausage, edging from well done into burnt. “Damn it!” He rushed back to the stove. After a few frantic seconds it became clear that all hope was not lost— “Its fine, nothing burned,” he announced, relieved. He checked the oven. The biscuits were still a few minutes away from golden. Cooking in a kitchen with reliable appliances was nearly fun. “You wanna learn how to make gravy while the biscuits finish?”

 

“You’ve been at it all morning, Juno— I’d hate to ruin all your hard work by getting incompetence all over it.”

 

“Okay, nevermind, you don’t get to choose. You’re gonna learn to make gravy. It’s easy— gravy, milk, a ton of pepper and hot grease. You can’t screw it up. C’mere.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you have ideas for these old marrieds then send them to me and maybe I’ll write them. Or just tell me what you thought. I love hearing from you guys. 😘


End file.
